Economy solution

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barnbum

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Have you seen this?
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Mr. President, it has come to my attention that you're having some

challenges with the economy. If I understand things correctly, we're

in a recession, consumer confidence and spending is down, credit is

tight, investors are spooked, we need renewable energy, and health care

costs are through the roof. Trillions of dollars, not to mention our

future, are at stake. Mr. President, I'm just a regular citizen, but I

think I have a solution.

Give every American a horse.

My proposal may not make sense to you at first, but let me give you a

little background. First of all, horses in the U.S. are a multi-billion dollar

industry, and that's just at my house. I suggest you have your economic

advisors do a little research on the spending around horse ownership.

You'd be surprised, Mr. President.

Start by visiting the tack and clothing retailers like State Line or

Dover. Look at the variety of goods available there. Now take into

account that every horse owner, especially if it's a woman, is buying

not just one or two, but tons of these items. Believe me.

So my thinking is that if you give every American a horse, starting

when they reach the horse-receptive age of 10, you're going to do two

things: boost consumer confidence and boost spending immediately.

Horses make us feel good, and once Americans all own horses (at the

government's expense, of course), they will all logically fall into

the pattern that every horse owner succumbs to: accessorizing. For

starters, we need horse-care implements like buckets and muck rakes,

hoof picks and curry combs. And we need at least basic tack, halter,

leadline, saddle, saddle pad, bridle and bit. But then the fun

begins.

Zebra print leg wraps. Neon bright fly masks. An assortment of sheets

and blankets for all seasons; you've got your cooler, your

lightweight blanket, your medium blanket, your heavy blanket. Then

there is your

stable sheet and your pasture sheet. Also your hoodie, and tail wrap

items.

And that's just the clothing for the horse. Don't get me started on

the clothing for the rider, even if he or she doesn't show. Since

most Americans don't have a basic riding wardrobe, the stores would be

swamped for jeans, boots, breeches, T-shirts, dozens of pairs of cute

boot socks, and the ubiquitous ball cap. Tell the retailers to get

ready. It'll be Christmas all year long.

Now lets talk about support industries. In addition to the usual

veterinarian and farrier expenditures, people also give their horses

chiropractic, massage and acupuncture, not to mention buying more

beauty products for their horses than they do for themselves. All

those professions and industries will benefit. And of course there

will be a big spike in hay and grain demand, so the farmers will be happy

too.

You see, that's the secret to jump-starting consumer spending through

my stimulus package. People will spend money on their horses when

they won't spend money on anything else.

But, your advisors might say, there's a catch. Aren't we paying the

price, in global warming, of the large number of livestock animals we

currently have? They produce all that methane!

Ah, Mr. President, here is the real beauty of this idea. When you

introduce the Methane-Assisted Natural Unrefined Renewable Energy

plan (M.A.N.U.R.E.), you'll be a hero for coming up with an alternative,

renewable, home-grown source of clean energy. Just challenge the

energy gurus to come up with a methane gas collection system that can

harness all the natural resource produced by all those horses to power our

cities. Talk about shovel ready projects: M.A.N.U.R.E. fits the bill!

And you keep stressing how we need new industries for investment;

well, under the M.A.N.U.R.E. plan you can sell Petroleum Offset

Opportunity units to investors. By buying these units, investors can

help us gradually convert from a petroleum-based economy to one based

on horse P.O.O.

Health care costs will go down, too, as everyone cares for their horses.

You can give tax credits based on the amount of time people spend

working, riding and hanging out with their horses, which will

automatically make them healthier. (Don't tell the docs, but most

horse owners already get their own basic healthcare from their vet.)

One more thing: everyone is annoyed by these corporate CEOs and their

big bonuses in a down economy. So give the executives, say, one horse

for every $100,000 of bonus money they've received. Those bonuses

will be plowed back into the economy in no time.

Finally, because you, Mrs. O, and the girls are such role models, you

can encourage us all by getting a pony for Sasha and Malia. It will

teach them responsibility, help the First Lady plow the garden, and

as a bonus: free fertilizer for the Rose Garden.

If you don't believe me that horse ownership stimulates spending, go

ahead, Mr. President. Buy that pony for your girls.. You'll see.

Dave Adams

"Seek First to Understand"
 
Bahahahahhaha!
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I had to especialy laugh at the "horse care products"...I have a bucket addiction myself
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Thanks, Karla!!

I LOVE it and I sooooo agree - I think this should be sent to the President or at least to Michelle Obama - she would get a kick out of it.

Hope it is OK to post this on another forum?
 
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May this one message get spread.......like M.A.N.U.R.E.
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I'm going to share it too!
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