Does This Seem Fair....

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EAD Minis

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[SIZE=14pt]Ok well I board my lil Hafi filly at my friend Beckys house down the road along with her horse copper.They have a small pasture and a 1 acre pasture FULL of grass.Now after it rained it is to wet for them to go into the big pasture which I can understand.So every night I would come feed the horses hay (becky did it in the mornings).Now the pasture is dry and magic is on 24 hour turnout on the big pasture cause she is young and the winter is coming. Copper comes in at night because he gets REALY hyper and acts dumb. Well I didnt go the other night because I had WAY to much home work sooo I called Becky and told her I couldnt make it (not that it realy matters cause I dont have to feeed hay any more only her horse is eating the hay.) and magic is out on grass so not to worry nothing has to be done with her.Well she freaks out on me and says that it is my responsibility to take care of my horse and feed them hay!!But my horse is not eating hay only hers is...so why do Ihave to feed HER horse????She says if I do not start feeding the hay again I am out of the barn!!!So I told her that my horse is not eating the hay any more...she starts yelling that it doesnt matter!!I dont get it!!Is this unfair or is it me??Should I be kicked out of the barn for not feeding a horse that ISNTmine!!Imean its not like she isnt home!Icould understand if she wasnt home but she is!!ITS NOT MY HORSE!!!Sry I know its long but I neededyour opinion!![/SIZE]
 

Marnie

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I don't know, it seems a little strange if she's right there that she'd ever expect you to feed hay to the horses. How far is "down the road"? Are you two friends, is there something else going on here? If you agreed to do it, I guess you should but it still seems odd to me if she's right there that she can't do it, unless theres more to the story.
 

Marty

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Hello Tristan.

A horse's welfare, upkeep, and care is a very serious responsibility and boarding arrangements and should not fall on youngsters such as yourselves for many reasons including the above mentioned ones. The parent's who legally own the horse should make the initial boarding arrangements and then if they wish to delegate certain duties to their children to carry them out, that is fine. I hope you can all sit down calmly and quietly with your parents and come to an agreement that you all will be happy with and be in the best interest of the horses. Best wishes to you Tristan.
 

Jill

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Are you supposed to be in charge of the evening feeding for all the horses (including hers) in exchange for being able to keep your horse there?
 

chandab

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Jill said:
Are you supposed to be in charge of the evening feeding for all the horses (including hers) in exchange for being able to keep your horse there?
479087[/snapback]

That's what I was wondering. What is the "boarding" arrangement?
 

EAD Minis

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[SIZE=14pt]The arrangments we made were she lets the horses out (into big pasture) and I let them into the small pasture at night. The Magic started to look slim so I said I will leave her out 24 hours. So she said ok u keep magic out and I will take copper in and out myself. Then it rained and she told me to keep her in and feed her hay.So we made the arrangment she would do morning feed and I would do evening feed. Now I have magic back out for 24 hours and we are back to our 'Normal schedual'.I dont get it!!I will talk to her because there is nothing between us that I can think of!!We are very good friends we do every thing together. Down the road is the house after the house right beside me!!I can walk there in less then a minute.We also take turns cleaning the water tub and the walk in shed.And there has never been a problem there....yet!! [/SIZE]
 

rabbitsfizz

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If you can walk there in less than a minute then...sorry sweetie, but that is exactly what you should do! Your horse needs to be looked at every day, brought up to the fence and examined, have it's feet picked out etc. If you find a cut you need to know exactly when it happened not "sometime in the last three days" A horse is a responsibility and needs to be looked after every day. If you are asking someone else to take on that responsibility, even for one day, it should be agreed beforehand that, on the odd day, they will be willing to do it. Hay or not that horse needs to be looked at thoroughly every day. That's the way I always did it, form your age and before, and every single day of my life since. Christmas day will find me, and many, many others all over the world, mucking out stalls and checking horses over. It's just another day in the barn. You signed up for all this when you bought a horse. "Too much homework" doesn't cut it for me, I'm afraid
 

Helen

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Totally agree with Rabbitfizz, you let your friend down, and did not keep your end of the arrangement. Maybe she had alot of homework that night also.

Are you paying board for your horse?
 

lyn_j

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[SIZE=14pt]This is coming from a mother of girls that wanted horses but tried to get out of taking care of them like they shoould. You need like Rabbitfizz said check on your horse everyday at least once. If your homework etc makes it too inconvenient for you to care for your horse then maybe someone else should own her that will MAKE the time. It sounds like the deal you made for the board is she does morning chores and you do evening or afternoon. Like I told my Katie once, who now is a mom herself, owning a horse doesnt just mean the glory of the ride or the show it is the nitty gritty , "i dont want to go today cause it is raining , or Im tired, or my horse is on grass 24/7" stuff that goes with it. No grit no glory. This is part of growing up and following thru on responsibility.Life is not always fair.[/SIZE]

Lyn
 

Jill

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Just like everyone is saying, there's more to it than just going out to feed because even if they are not needing food, you do need to check on them to be sure all is well.

If you own horses long enough, unfortunately there will come a day when you go out to do the routine never expecting something is wrong only to find one of your horses has an emergency situation going on. After that happens, you will not ever take for granted that everything is fine and feel as if they don't need to be peeked at on schedule.
 

lyn_j

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[SIZE=14pt]That is EXACTLY what happened with Lucky last week. I went out to give morning feed and found his shoulder torn open! This is the results! What would have happened if I decided not to go or went late?[/SIZE]



Lyn
 

Marty

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I am just wondering if that is you riding your miniature in the avatar
 

EAD Minis

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[SIZE=14pt]No othat is not me in the avatar that is my sister.I am in the background.I take care of my horses very well and I dont need you telling me I dont!!Thanks for you help but if you are gonna say I am a bad owner then no thanks.I check my horses routinly and I excorsise them half hour every day.I am there EVERY night except for tuesdays. The other day is the only time I have not gone to the barn since Magic moved there!!I pay for my board and Becky does not have home work she is 20. She is also layed off from work so she is home all day. I HAVE to have my horses stall clean other wise I freak!!I HATE DIRTY stalls.I work very hard for my horses and have to pay for every thing myself so I know what your saying.And I know some people who wanted horses got them and didnt take care of them...I AM NOT LIKE THAT![/SIZE]
 
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lyn_j

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[SIZE=14pt]Dont get huffy, we are just responding to what you posted. By the way, I would recomend that your sister not ride that mini anymore. She is too big for it.[/SIZE]

Just my opinion as an experienced mini breeder.

Lyn
 

Frankie

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Come on guys, she is a kid, acting like a kid,,,,,,,,,,,,,but some responses are adults, too, acting like a kid. Help can be given and offered in a more kinder way, and that is usually more reseptive.

And I don't think she was asking if we thought she took good care of her horses. Again, we can offer help in a way that she will continue to come here for help. Responses so far, aren't going to do that, as you can see by her reaction, and I can not say I do not blame her.
 

MyLilShowGirl

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I agree with Frankie


Lyn,

Mikayla only weighs 65 pounds..she is just under what most people recommend (70 lbs), from what I am told. And, what makes it even better is that Roy is a B size mini...he is a lot bigger then he looks in the pic. I think Mikayla looks heavier because she is tall.
(btw, I know this because she is my cousin
)

JMO...no flames please.


-Kris
 
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billiethekid40

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You, your parents and Becky need to sit down and draw up a board agreement, cause either you don't have one or it isn't clear.

You need to decide WHAT is included in your board price and what ISN'T. If board is supposed to cover her taking care of your horse on Tuesdays nights and every morning then the agreement should say that. If your board agreement is to cover morning chores only, then it should specifically say that too. Then when problems like this arise in the future you can refer her to the agreement to prove you are in the right.

I think her response was extreme, but I would suggest that in future if you can't make it out on a night she was expecting you just give her a call to be courteous. I know it wasn't your responsibility to feed her horse, but if you have been doing it other nights even without the agreement then she may have come to rely on you doing it and assumed you would continue. Again, not your fault but just remember the common courtesy of the call could save her horse from going without dinner!

Chalk it up to a learning experienceand move on. Sit down and make a CLEAR agreement of your responsibilities and be done with it. It will save you a lot of hassle to be on the same page. And again, a phone call to let her know you aren't coming when you usually do (even if it isn't a required visit, just a habitual one) could save her horse from missing meals.
And hey, maybe she was just having a bad day? She could be pretty stressed about her job situation and its making her moody, not an excuse, but don't beat yourself up either.
 

rabbitsfizz

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Now see, we are already, once again, getting conflicting responses. I thought Roy was 34 "?? 50 pounds is the recommended cut off, I thought. And that, I would not have thought was for "proper" riding. I too thought the horse looked most uncomfortable- but Hey, what do I know, or Lyn for that matter?? We've only been doing this sort of thin 365 days a year for donkey's years!!!! 365 days a year- not every day except Tuesdays. Sorry Sweetie, no-one said you were a bad person, and if you just want people to agree with you do not put up this kind of post as I for one will not just agree with you, especially when you are in the wrong. There is absolutely no reason why Becky should do your horse for you , none whatsoever, unless you have made a prior arrangement with her, or you are paying her to do it. It is your horse and all that comes with the territory.
 

susanne

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Tristyn,

One of the unwritten "rules" of this forum is that people are EXTREMELY concerned about ALL horses. Nobody was judging you, just speaking up on behalf of your horses.

From your friend's reaction, it sounds as if she was bothered by something else, misunderstood your reason for not coming by, or wasn't considering that your horses have not been getting hay.

I would agree that, when you live so close, that homework should not have kept you away entirely, but I can also see where you felt that she would fill in for you in that situation. These are things that need to be discussed in advance, as misunderstandings can get blown way out of proportion.

Ask her to get together with you and discuss the situation. LISTEN carefully to what she has to say. Ask her EXACTLY what upset her. LISTEN. It may have been a door left open or something else unrelated. Perhaps someone else who didn't know the situation made comments, making her feel bad for your horses. LISTEN before you speak. Finally, carefully explain why you felt things were covered, that you weren't leaving them unfed.

Once again, when you ask questions on this board, you need to filter the responses. Consider the member's intent before you become offended. I've seen this time and again, and I know the knowledge and concern behind the responses you've received.

Take care, and good luck.
 

lyn_j

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[SIZE=14pt]Thanks Kris for clearing that up about the size of the child. I can only speak for myself but when we have had younguns come here before and complain about what they did and didnt think was fair it usually was a miss comunication, just like now. Only judging by what we were told, we could respond. I was not being childish as suggested but motherly as I would have sat my girls down to tell them.... When you dont keep your horse at your place, and I know this from experience, even if it is a friends place certain things are assumed and expected so thats why Tristyn needs to get the plan in writing. Then no one will be upset, no one will have hard feelings or be able to say "well I thought.......". It sounded like maybe excuses being made not to go do the chores. To a mother at least .I posted the pics of Luckys boo boo as a warning not intimating that she didnt care about her horse.I just was reminding that even the unglamorous stuff has to get done. As far as your cousins wt, her height in comparison to the horse can make it hard for the little horse to balance himself. even with a light wt..... just an observation.[/SIZE]

Lyn
 

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