Dealing with the loss of a horse

Discussion in 'Miniature Horse Forum' started by Matthew B Thibault, Aug 12, 2019.

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  1. Aug 12, 2019 #1

    Matthew B Thibault

    Matthew B Thibault

    Matthew B Thibault

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    I volunteer at a rescue barn and got really close to a horse that was beaten in a previous home. I picked her because I am a big man, which is the same size as the guy who beat her, and she was terrified of me. I figured, I'd be the best person to help her. Which I did. While she got better with everyone, she got really close to me. I was the only one who could touch her when she got hurt. She'd grudgingly accept food from people, with the stink eye, but she devoured it when I gave it to her. Well, Friday I got a call while I was at work. She had a seizure and was being put down. I immediately left work. I didn't make it before she was put down, but I was able to be there before she got buried. I got to say goodbye. But the loss of her is devouring me. I'm able to laugh at things, but the majority of the time it hurts. How has everyone else dealt with the loss of a beloved horse?
     

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  2. Aug 12, 2019 #2

    chandab

    chandab

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    Time, time and more time. [Don't let anyone tell you how to grieve over her loss, do it in your own way, in your own time.]
    The memories help.
    I lost my heart horse in 2010, he was 27 years old, I had owned him for 24 years. I was a basket case for a few weeks, and swear I saw evidence of his antics for weeks after his passing (like bales being tipped over, buckets dumped, etc). With time it got easier, but I still have days where he is foremost in my thoughts and always in my heart.
     
  3. Aug 12, 2019 #3

    Matthew B Thibault

    Matthew B Thibault

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    I was hoping you didn't say that, but I figured you would. I've lost horses before, but this is definitely the one I was the closest to, the one I feared losing.
     
  4. Aug 13, 2019 #4

    Marsha Cassada

    Marsha Cassada

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    If our hearts didn't suffer with loss, we'd be like the man who mistreated that horse.
     
  5. Aug 13, 2019 #5

    Angie

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    I'm so sorry your horse friend is gone. Just remember how much difference you made in his life during the time you had with him. That is a huge good you did.
     
  6. Aug 13, 2019 #6

    Matthew B Thibault

    Matthew B Thibault

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    This is true. I just don't understand how people can do it, especially sweet ones like my Candi (though when I wasn't at the barn for a while, phew did she let me know she was displeased).

    That's the only thing that is keeping me from bawling at work. I was pretty much useless yesterday, I'm able to fake it a lot better today.
     
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  7. Aug 13, 2019 #7

    Ryan Johnson

    Ryan Johnson

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    Matthew, I am so sorry for your loss. Its never easy loosing a fur kid. Knowing that little mare found you, made her life so much better.

    Everyone grieves differently. Some horses leave a real footprint on your heart.
     
  8. Aug 13, 2019 #8

    Cayuse

    Cayuse

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    I am sorry for your loss. You will be OK. It may always hurt in your heart a little bit, but that is the price we seem to have to pay for opening our hearts to our animals.
    Godspeed little horse.
     
  9. Aug 13, 2019 #9

    chandab

    chandab

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    I've lost other horses, but his loss was the hardest and the one that still hits me at times.
     
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  10. Aug 14, 2019 #10

    Angie

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    This may be out of line, but do you have one of her horse shoes that you could mount somewhere to see it often? Maybe put a photo into the U of it?
     
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  11. Aug 14, 2019 #11

    Matthew B Thibault

    Matthew B Thibault

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    She didn't wear horse shoes, but I did get a piece of her forelock for my me (which the owner of the horse was ok with) and part of her tail for my niece (which got me yelled at. Apparently taking part of the tail is barbaric.) I don't know what I want yet, but my niece wants a bracelet made. We both showed the horse.
     
  12. Aug 15, 2019 #12

    Angie

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    I'm so glad to hear you have something to remember her by. Maybe the piece of forelock would be nice in a shadow box?
     
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  13. Aug 15, 2019 #13

    Willow Flats

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    Very sorry you have had to say goodbye to this special horse, and also thankful you were brought into her life. Praying for comfort for you.
     
  14. Aug 15, 2019 #14

    Marsha Cassada

    Marsha Cassada

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    I had a piece of horse hair pottery made with hairs from my avatar horse. He is still with me, but he is very special and I decided a piece of pottery would be a great thing to have with his hairs. In the avatar photo I am showing it to him. No treats in it? What's the point!
     

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  15. Aug 15, 2019 #15

    Matthew B Thibault

    Matthew B Thibault

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    My friend loves making shadow boxes, that's the best idea I have. I also got a bracket, not made with her hair, with her name and the date she passed on it.
    I didn't think of pottery, that's a good idea. I'll just have to find a place where my cat won't knock it.
     
  16. Aug 22, 2019 #16

    plaid mare

    plaid mare

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    Bless you for loving so deeply a lonely horse soul, that in turn blessed you with trust, and love. Goodness resonates in the world. I am sad for your loss, but proud of you! You will see your horse again on the other side. Your niece would be appalled at me because I intend to have my horse soft taxidermied when the end comes one day. I lost my Miss Kitty six years ago, and I still cry. Loss is a visceral misery! Time will help, but for now , cry if you need to, talk about it when you want to. Greif is such a user specific thing. I planted a tree over Miss Kitty. I dug the hole myself, and planted the tree myself. I placed a porch swing under the tree. Each year I save a few of the nicest leaves for pressing, then I put them in a keepsake box. You never get over loss, you just learn to manage it. People, animals, loss is loss. There is no alternative, so you manage.
     
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  17. Aug 27, 2019 #17

    Matthew B Thibault

    Matthew B Thibault

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    Thank you everyone, I'm doing much better now. I've been able to distance myself from the day, and am thinking more of the good times we had. I appreciate everyone's help.
     
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  18. Aug 29, 2019 #18

    plaid mare

    plaid mare

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    I'm glad to hear you are feeling a bit better, and remembering the good times.
     
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