Any Family Practice/Divorce Attys Among Us?

[StarRidgeAcres]

Hi All,

I am trying to figure out what my options are. I believe my ex-husband has re-married and why that is significant to me is that my dissolution agreement states that I no longer have to pay him maintenance if he remarries. So, obviously I would prefer to have any reason not to pay, but if he's married, then legally I don't have to. But here's the problem I'm running into... Nobody seems to know how to determine FOR SURE that someone is married. Here's what I mean:

If he is married, and I don't know for sure, I know he would have done it outside of the state of MO or any state even surrounding MO. He's very smart.

If he's married, stating so on his taxes (meaning be truthful on his taxes) wouldn't necessarily be a priority for him (if you get my drift).

Even though my dissolution agreement says I pay UNLESS he remarries, it doesn't say specifically that he has to inform me of the marriage (I know, just ONE of the MANY stupid things I agreed to/didn't catch during the process).

I can hire a private investigator, but searching every county of every states' records will cost me a TON.

I could have him "deposed" (I think that is the right word) but what would be his motivation for telling the truth?

If he married outside of the US, say Mexico, is it even a "legal" marriage and would that even count?

I've asked my atty that did the divorce and she said she didn't know how I'd know for sure. (Yes, looking back I had HORRIBLE representation and I got royally SCREWED, but it's over now and there's no changing it. My only option is if he marries and I can PROVE it).

Any thoughts?

Thanks much!

 

[topnotchminis]

No advice here but wishing you good luck.

 

[Miniv]

Not an attorney......

Just wondering what makes you suspect your ex has remarried?

Do you have mutual "friends" or acquaintances? Perhaps through that avenue you can find out if, where, and when?

 

[StarRidgeAcres]

Not an attorney......

Just wondering what makes you suspect your ex has remarried?

Do you have mutual "friends" or acquaintances? Perhaps through that avenue you can find out if, where, and when?

We don't really have any mutual friends at this point. I seemed to have gotten the friends in the divorce lol

As for why I think, there are several things, but the most obvious was last Thursday I saw him when he wasn't expecting it and he was wearing a band on his ring finger. I know that wearing what looks like a traditional wedding band on the ring finger is not necessarily a guarantee, but it would be odd I'd think to wear one if you weren't.

 

[Charlene]

whether he re-married in the u.s., mexico, or anywhere else, he is legally married and your obligation to pay maintenance would cease.

not sure what state you are in but here's what i would do. file a "letter petition" with the court where your divorce judgment was entered. in your letter, ask the court to set a hearing to determine if he has re-married. he will have to be sent a notice and/or a summons (with a copy of your letter attached). that will start the ball rolling. he will be required to testify under oath as to his marital status.

don't feel bad about not having this mentioned in your original judgment. in fact, it should be standard language in the paperwork that should he re-marry or co-habitate with another person of the opposite sex, your obligation to pay will cease. at least in illinois, that is the law.

unless you have some experience, all of the above may be easier if you hire a family law attorney. i realize that isn't cheap but depending on how much you are paying him, you may come out better in the long run. you should also ask that the court enter an order that HE should pay your attorney's fees and court costs.

EDIT: i see you're in missouri. the laws there are similar to illinois.

 

[Ashley]

as for the ring..........I had a good size rock on my finger for almost 4 years.........never was married......I know lots of people who do it.

 

[StarRidgeAcres]

whether he re-married in the u.s., mexico, or anywhere else, he is legally married and your obligation to pay maintenance would cease.

not sure what state you are in but here's what i would do. file a "letter petition" with the court where your divorce judgment was entered. in your letter, ask the court to set a hearing to determine if he has re-married. he will have to be sent a notice and/or a summons (with a copy of your letter attached). that will start the ball rolling. he will be required to testify under oath as to his marital status.

don't feel bad about not having this mentioned in your original judgment. in fact, it should be standard language in the paperwork that should he re-marry or co-habitate with another person of the opposite sex, your obligation to pay will cease. at least in illinois, that is the law.

unless you have some experience, all of the above may be easier if you hire a family law attorney. i realize that isn't cheap but depending on how much you are paying him, you may come out better in the long run. you should also ask that the court enter an order that HE should pay your attorney's fees and court costs.

EDIT: i see you're in missouri. the laws there are similar to illinois.

Thank you as that was all very helpful information!! I knew someone would come through on here!

as for the ring..........I had a good size rock on my finger for almost 4 years.........never was married......I know lots of people who do it.

I agree, many women do. I've not known a man to as of yet, but there's always a first. Regardless, the amount I pay him each month is too significant to ignore the possibility, so I will follow the advice given and seek a hearing. If I'm wrong, oh well. If I'm right...my financial outlook will greatly improve. And IF I'm wrong, he'll at least know I'm keeping tabs on it and will continue to.

Thanks again!

 

[Mominis]

Not that I know much about the law, but I believe that marriage records are public information. Without having to get a private investigator, you could just go through the more likely places for him to have remarried. Also, have you checked his FB status? Do you know who the woman may be? If so, then it may be easier to prove that she's married than if he is. I say that because, presumably, she isnt hiding the fact like he would be. Another thing is to find out where he's living. If you can prove that he is cohabitating and with whom, it may make it easier to track down information on him or them. Zabasearch is a wonderful thing.

 

[LindaL]

Not that I know much about the law, but I believe that marriage records are public information. Without having to get a private investigator, you could just go through the more likely places for him to have remarried. Also, have you checked his FB status? Do you know who the woman may be? If so, then it may be easier to prove that she's married than if he is. I say that because, presumably, she isnt hiding the fact like he would be. Another thing is to find out where he's living. If you can prove that he is cohabitating and with whom, it may make it easier to track down information on him or them. Zabasearch is a wonderful thing.

This is what I was thinking...I've used Zabasearch many times...and if you need to pay $$ I would 1st pay for a "background check" they offer thru Zabasearch...It's like $40! Well worth checking out before seeing an attorney I would think! Good luck!

 

[Pepipony]

Google his name, google is so's name if you know it. If you know what county/state he lives in search the newspapers for a legal notice. Hope you get it resolved!