Age discrimination

[Watcheye]

Back in October my mother lost her job (which is a whole other story in itself...

but I dont want to tangent so Ill save it for later). She has been job hunting since then. We have a good friend who suggested a place he does business with that was looking for more employees. My mom was more than qualified for that position (thats not just a biased opinion from me. They even even commented that they liked the fact that they would not have to do much to train her at all).

While she was there for a test day (she had not even been there 20 min), she was approached by an employee there who said this: "You dont have to answer this question if you dont want to, but we have been taking bets on how old you are. How old are you??"

:shocked

My mother took this as quite a blow to her confidence and self esteem and I am royally agitated. How unprofessional is that??? My mom is 54 by the way. She used to work in the Emergency room and loved it! She ran all day! She almost always skipped lunch just to keep going. Shes good at what she does. I have even worked in the same office as her before so I have seen her in action myself (I was a file clerk at a medical office).

Mom is wondering if she should call the office and mention that this happened. She doesnt want to cause trouble for her friend. She asked him what he thought and he said that if he was running a business he would want to know if one of his employees said something like that. So how should this be handled if at all? They have yet to call her about the job. We dont believe she got it.

 

[Katiean]

My mother lost her job because she turned 73. About 6 months before her birthday they started "messing" with her. She is a security officer. It is the kind of job you can until you die. Well, her company decided they wanted a "younger" work force. They claimed she didn't follow post orders. Let me tell you she is probably the only one that DID follow post orders. Then they sent her on crappy jobs like guarding the garbage dump in the middle of the night. She still wouldn't quit. They called her into the office and said to her'We should just part ways" When she said no (she worked for them for 16 years) they asked her "Are you going to hold us hostage over the 16 years she had with them?" She said if that is what it takes then yes. Well they fired her. It was amazing. She found a job 2 weeks later.

As for what was said to your mom, I would report it. The person that said it will denie it. But if someone else reports it then the company will be less likely to believe the person in question. Always report it. IMO.

 

[Annabellarose]

What I am going to say probably will not be popular, but at least it's another way of looking at it. *shrugs*

I am guessing that this came from a fellow employee and not her manager/boss or the owner of the company, correct? If this came from her manager/boss, I might tell the owner of the company (depending upon the job/what they do, the company, the atmosphere, etc., etc., etc., but I probably still wouldn't). If this came from a fellow employee, I definitely wouldn't report it. I think irregardless of if it came from her manager/boss or a fellow employee her manager/boss or the owner of the company is going to label your mother a "complainer" and/or a "tattletale" (even though it really did happen to her). She has every right to be hurt/offended by this and it was definitely inappropriate, in poor taste, tactless, the list goes on and on, but I think how she handles it is the most important thing. Of course this wouldn't be my reaction if it were sexual harassment or physical violence. If she is very hurt/offended and just cannot bare to continue working there without reporting the incident then she probably shouldn't want to stay with that company anyway.

It definitely sucked, but is not worth reporting - in my opinion.

Our fellow humans certainly can be thoughtless (even mean!), but sometimes you just shrug your shoulders, let it roll right off of your back, and you go on with your life (hopefully making them look bad by the contrast of your good example). People almost always tell me that they thought that I was MUCH older than I actually am when they finally find out how old I am (to the point of making a big deal out of it sometimes, which might hurt the lesser gal's feelings). I often use this to my advantage!

 

[minih]

I would not want to assume anything. If I were her, I would call and find out if the job has been filled, if it has, then I would report it. If it has not been filled, I would wait, no one wants to hire someone that is pointing out problems before they happen.

I wonder how old these people were that were asking her age? I really do not think 54 is all that old, but then again I am 47 so not so far away.

I don't consider myself getting older, even tho my body disagrees at times and feels like it's 70.

 

[minie812]

Having worked in the past in several BIG medical offices in Wichita and being in the 50ish crowd...I would let it ride, but if she calls the office and finds out the the job was filled then I would ask to speak to the Office manager and let her know she has an employee that could get there office a nice little lawsuit if they are not careful.

 

[Miniv]

Having worked in the past in several BIG medical offices in Wichita and being in the 50ish crowd...I would let it ride, but if she calls the office and finds out the the job was filled then I would ask to speak to the Office manager and let her know she has an employee that could get there office a nice little lawsuit if they are not careful.

Ditto....... Since she wasn't hired (yet) when it occurred, it would be wise to keep mum about it. PLUS the person wasn't in a management position....... I will say that I'm surprised that people seem to think that 54 is "old". Sort of scary!

 

[krissy3]

What I am going to say probably will not be popular, but at least it's another way of looking at it. *shrugs*
I am guessing that this came from a fellow employee and not her manager/boss or the owner of the company, correct? If this came from her manager/boss, I might tell the owner of the company (depending upon the job/what they do, the company, the atmosphere, etc., etc., etc., but I probably still wouldn't). If this came from a fellow employee, I definitely wouldn't report it. I think irregardless of if it came from her manager/boss or a fellow employee her manager/boss or the owner of the company is going to label your mother a "complainer" and/or a "tattletale" (even though it really did happen to her). She has every right to be hurt/offended by this and it was definitely inappropriate, in poor taste, tactless, the list goes on and on, but I think how she handles it is the most important thing. Of course this wouldn't be my reaction if it were sexual harassment or physical violence. If she is very hurt/offended and just cannot bare to continue working there without reporting the incident then she probably shouldn't want to stay with that company anyway.

It definitely sucked, but is not worth reporting - in my opinion.

Our fellow humans certainly can be thoughtless (even mean!), but sometimes you just shrug your shoulders, let it roll right off of your back, and you go on with your life (hopefully making them look bad by the contrast of your good example). People almost always tell me that they thought that I was MUCH older than I actually am when they finally find out how old I am (to the point of making a big deal out of it sometimes, which might hurt the lesser gal's feelings). I often use this to my advantage!

I agree here, thats not going to look good, to start causing truble before she is even hired. As a manager , I have enough to worry about , if an employee is already being a squeeky wheel, I will not want to hire her. Sorry if it seems harsh, but thats the reality of it . Coworkers are always a pain , there will always be one that says something hurtful , or stupid, to another co worker thats life. I would just look at this as " hmm... do I really want to work in an environment where the co workers are so tacky and nosey"? ...if you decidenot to take the job , you can write a nice letter to the manager or managers supervisor saying why you decidd not to work there...then , they will have to repremand the employee, if they can... freedom of speach may not allow that, its more like freedom to be an A**. but thats America for ya.

 

[Annabellarose]

let her know she has an employee that could get there [sic] office a nice little lawsuit if they are not careful.

I don't think that you can sue your place of employment if a fellow employee (not in a position of power) tactlessly asks how old you are. It was tactless, rude, uncalled for, yes, and is probably grounds for the company to fire (or, at the very least, reprimand) THAT employee, but I really don't think that opens up this company up to a lawsuit (as quoted).

 

[Littleum]

My mom was more than qualified for that position

This will probably do more to hurt your mum then her age. Employers don't want to high overqualified employees for jobs because they're afraid those employees will always have their eye on the door and leave when something better and more suitable comes along. I ran into the issue many times. Employers also don't want to hire senior-type people into junior-type positions. My husband ran into it last year on his job hunt.

I agree that if your mom complains about something so small (and I agree, it was a tacky & inappropriate question) she probably would kill any chance she may have under the "runs for mamma and is a tattletale" label. The only time I personally would let management know is if I was asked this question during my interview OR if I was asked by someone much more senior then myself. And only because an employer needs to know that their senior staff is asking questions of their underlings or potential hires that can get them in a LOT of hot water.

 

[Watcheye]

Thank you all for your input! Yes we definitely were not going to say anything (IF she did at all) if we knew she didnt get the job.

 

[HGFarm]

Yep, this is a touchy one, since we all know it is against the law to discriminate due to age!!!! And I also hate to think mid 50's is old!!!

Guess I am in big trouble then. I thought about recommending calling an attorney, but what proof does she have- however that comment was WAY out of line and my answer to them, if I were in your mother's shoes, would have been "Nunya"!!! And asked them what they wanted to know for!! That is just rude from anyone.

She has the right to ask why she was not hired I guess. What a shame and hope she finds a BETTER job than that one soon. Kind of tells me the caliber of people she would have been stuck working with!!!!? Sorry this happened to her!

 

[Reijel's Mom]

No, I wouldn't report what an employee said to me, however rude it was. Maybe they all thought she looked young for her age?? A terribly rude question to ask regardless but you never know. I work with a woman with high functioning autism - she says things all the time that seem quite rude, but she really doesn't mean for it to be, she just doesn't understand some things about socializing.

 

[Shari]

Sadly, most companies will not tell you why you were not hired. My DH has been running into the "age" problem, as he has been trying to find a job. No one is hiring people is age, its scary. A number of his Engineer friends are out of work and all are about the same age, hard working and know what they are doing and they are running into the same problem.

Am crossing my fingers your Mom will be able to find a job.