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dixie_belle

Well-Known Member
Joined
Mar 19, 2005
Messages
655
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Location
South Central, KY
Things here could be better, actually.  But, I am tired of living with such uncertainty.  I felt that I needed answers to some questions, if for no other reason than to put some of my fears to rest.  So, keeping that in mind, I have scheduled an appointment with an attorney who specializes in elder care.  We will meet with him at the end of next month so I can get the truths of what our future holds.  I need to know how to put hubby in some sort of home, how much it will cost, who pays for it, what I will use to live on, what happens to our home, car and my health insurance (I'm not old enough for medicare for 3 years yet).  Now, whether we actually do something with my hubby at this point, I can't say.  But at least I will finally get some definite answers to questions.  And I think it's time for me to be put legally in control of everything.  Right now I feel such relief about this simple decision just because I've been living in such uncertainty for years now and the thought that I will actually know what will happen is such a good feeling. 

My biggest concern is that we'll use all our $$ to keep him in a facility and then what will I have?  So mainly, this meeting with the attorney is an attempt to possibly protect something for me. 

I have absolutely no doubt that my husband's life is absolute heck.  He knows what is going on.  He gets frustrated that he cannot complete a sentence or operate the remote control.  It appears to me that he is just shuffling around the house, waiting to die.  That is a horrible way to live.  I'm hoping if we can afford to get him in a facility, they can figure out a way to get him to interact with them.  And, let's not forget, that since his life is so hellish, mine is also.  Where ever he goes, so do I. 

I can't stand to be in the house 24/7 with him and yet when I leave I feel guilty and worry.  And the guilt of not being able to "fix" this somehow is really a terrible feeling. 

I don't know what the future holds for him, or for me.  I know I've made some good friends here in Kentucky who let me cry on their shoulders, and who I can count on if I need something.  So I am very relieved about that. 

I feel like I should be stronger, somehow.  And just handle things better.  But I have to make these enormous decisions and I fear I will make mistakes and do the wrong thing.  And I feel like a horrible person for wishing to be done with this whole process. 

Anyway, hopefully next month I can get some answers to my questions.  If for no other reason, than to reduce my anxiety over the uncertainty of the future.
 
You are doing the right thing to find out your legal status.  I was thinking of you yesterday, in fact, and wondering if you could release him to the state.  You could even keep him at home, but you would have lots of help options. It is a question I would ask.
 
Hoping for the best for you both. This sucks.
 

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